Between Chaos and Control
“Before the beginning of great brilliance, there must be chaos. Before a brilliant person begins something great, they must look foolish in the crowd.”
~ From the I Ching
Over the years of working with people; community members, teams, friends, my family, I have observed and reflected on the path between chaos and control and I’ve come to the conclusion that sometimes ‘sad’ is ok, and in fact, often it is quite necessary for personal growth!
Stick with me while I explain and the graph below should explain itself!
Let’s start with the premise that we have these two ends of the spectrum;chaos (when things are out of whack) and control (when things are as they should be).
When all is going well, we can easily shift in the direction of control (normal routine, negotiation, controlled emotions) but when a massive reality slap hits us (death, breakups, betrayal), we more easily fall into chaos (everything seems wrong, messy and really difficult).
Once the initial chaos is over or has been grieved for (2 days in bed, talking to no one, lost in a fog) we can start to find our bewildered way back along the path towards control(everything may be still messy but, life is a little clearer) and here is the key lesson I have discovered: It is through chaos that we find the emerging seeds of healing – where we find innovative and strong ways to get through! It is here that we discover how to balance between the two states of chaos and order because being wholly in one state is no help, at all!
Are you still with me?
We can’t find healing through being stagnant, in denial or pretending to cope, we actually find our steps towards healing through initially allowing ourselves to be in the chaos or grief! Neat, huh?
When ready, ask yourself some questions;
- What makes you tremble (with anticipation or excitement) for your future?
- Who would you be without your story?
- What is your learning edge from this experience?
- What do you need, from those around you, to feel supported in the places that make you anxious?
- How will you stay open to your personal emergent learning?
Through this process, whether it is a week or a decade, and with diligent effort, you will have learned something more amazing than money can buy and you will have the opportunity to pass it on to others, through your personal experience and story!
One of my inspiring colleagues, Peter Kenyon, says; “The world is not made of atoms; it is made of STORIES” so, when you’re ready, when you’re feeling strong enough, I encourage you to pass on your experience… talk with others around a circle (coffee table, fireplace, kitchen table) as our ancestors have done for generations, when learning new ways to heal and evolve, and eventually, you will pass on your lessons to others, in a meaningful and deeper way!
Yours in Community,